You are not who you think you are. The mind tends to go to extremes. In the process it drags you through all of the junk that it finds to keep itself entertained. Imagine what a three year old would do given the chance to operate a bulldozer in the living room of your mind. It is something like that. Of course, when it is pleasant, we love it. When it is painful, that is when it starts to hurt. You know it will never end well.
Better help that kid grow up and be a good friend instead of a trouble maker, right?
Only then can you start to discover who you really are.